Both of you will spend a long time planning your big day so that it will go off without a hitch – but please let me give you one piece of advice and that is not to get bogged down in etiquette. Remember you are planning for your wedding so you are entitled to bend the rules or even throw away the rule book and write your own!
There is a huge amount written about wedding etiquette however I believe that most of it can cause more bad feelings that good! If I had my way I would banish all the wedding etiquette sections in magazines and replace them with a wedding communication sections because to have fantastic wedding communication is vital.
Many people ask their friends or family to take on the role of bridesmaids or matron of honour, and then they read conflicting accounts from various websites and magazines about what is expected from these people in the wedding party. Of course the bridesmaid is not a mind reader and when she doesn’t know what the bride thinks she should be doing – she doesn’t deliver – at least not in the bride’s eyes. The bride can then end up very upset when her friends don’t seem to be keeping up with what is expected of them and sadly what should be a very happy occasion starts to turn sour! This is why I don’t agree with wedding etiquette. The only way not to have misunderstandings is to ask people to do specific tasks, tell them what you require of them and explain clearly what you would like them to do. COMMUNICATE!
Please remember if someone in your family is getting married, particularly your daughter or son, you should always appreciate that the big day belongs to the bride and groom and not you! Their wishes must be paramount; however some people believe they are entitled to get involved or they believe they are have certain rights just because they have read wedding etiquette books from cover to cover.
All my love, Franc xxx
Fermoy, Co. Cork,
Ireland. P61 V028
Cork: 353 (0)25 32005
Dublin: 353 (0)1 961 0052